Column: Measuring the days before saying goodbye to a pet

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Column: Measuring the days before saying goodbye to a pet

Jack, a 17-year-old Chihuahua who was a devoted companion to columnist and Pasadena Humane president and CEO Chris Ramon for nearly two decades. His recent passing highlights the grief and difficult decisions that come with saying goodbye to a beloved pet. (Photos courtesy of Chris Ramon)

A few weeks ago, I said goodbye to my dog Jack. He had been by my side for 17 years. This tiny, 10-pound Chihuahua was my constant source of companionship, love and support.

I remember picking him up during the holidays and noticing that he was starting to lose weight. He had been slowing down for a few months, but he was still excited to go outside and go on walks, and he still had a strong appetite.

Jack had been given a diagnosis of congestive heart failure a year earlier. And now our veterinarian advised my wife and me that we’d likely need to “say goodbye” soon.

We began to measure the good days versus the bad ones. I kept telling myself, “When it’s time, Jack will let me know.”

Toward the end, the signs were clear. But I faced the dilemma that will probably sound familiar to anyone who has had to say goodbye to a pet:

“If I do it now, what if it’s too soon? But what if I wait too long?”

As I went through this process, the realization that I was losing one of the most constant things in my life set in. I struggled to envision a future without the pet who had been by my side for nearly two decades. I was devastated.

But I knew that it was now my turn to stand by him with the same love and loyalty. Just like he had done for me, I would be there to support him when he needed it most.

I soon came to understand that if I waited too long, we would both suffer. But if I let him go now, only I would suffer.

That same morning, I found my other dog, Sheldon, lying pressed against Jack, unwilling to leave his side. I knew the time had come, and Jack was ready to say goodbye.

My wife and I took him to our veterinarian, and I held him as he took his last breath. Despite the situation being heartbreaking, it was peaceful. I was grateful to be a source of strength and love for him in that moment.

The finality of saying goodbye began to sink deep into my chest. When we returned home, I knew I wouldn’t be greeted by Jack, but I couldn’t help looking at his dog bed, hoping it was all a bad dream.

Leash still in hand, I asked myself, “What do I do now?”

The grieving process, for me, has been full of ups and downs. There have been moments of sadness, confusion, gratitude and peace. Sometimes those emotions overlap, shifting from one moment to the next.

I’m incredibly fortunate to have people in my life who understand how much my pets mean to me. But I also know firsthand that the grief after losing a pet can be isolating. It can feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself.

I’m not sure when I’ll be ready to bring another pet into my life, but this is a question many people ask themselves after losing their beloved companion.

The truth is, there is no right or wrong answer. One of the first pet adoptions I facilitated early in my career was for someone who had lost his/her cat of 18 years less than a week before.

I remember feeling surprised, but after talking with the person, I understood that, for that person, the best way to honor a previous cat’s legacy was to adopt a cat in need of a home. My perspective changed.

For now, though, our house will be a bit quieter as we continue to grieve the loss of our sweet Jack.

 

Chris Ramon is president and CEO of Pasadena Humane.

This blog post originally appeared as a column in the Pasadena Star-News on March 27, 2026.